My new end table is cool. Very very cool. There is more surface area on top so the Kleenex box doesn't have to wrestle with the alarm clock and the phone for space, and there is even enough room for me to have a small stack of books waiting for me to read. The three drawers are practically empty; in fact one of them is completely empty and I've no idea what to put in it. True, the bedroom smells faintly of finish, which indicates that perhaps we didn't let my end table dry quite as long as it needed to, but I'm going to ignore that for now because finally I have a table by my side of the bed that the cats can't tip no matter how hard they try.

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The first day of the new year started off slow, but then reached the pinnacle of excitement as we took a trip to Wal-Mart. This excitement came after we wandered over toward the deodorant and the razor blades and the toothpaste. And then there they were - a dazzling array of toothbrushes. Manual and battery operated. Spinning heads and brushes with color sensing bristles. Brushes made for kids with pokemon handles, and brushes for teenagers that looked like tacky plastic pastel cell phones.

Faced with all these choices, we knew what we had to do. We picked out toothbrushes together. Not just ordinary toothbrushes, mind you; no, we splurged for a pair of the battery operated ones, with little spinning heads for the ultimate in plaque control.

I think this is when you figure out you might be an adult - when you spend quality time with your significant other pondering dental hygiene in a large and overcrowded discount store in the middle of poor white trash town.

It doesn't get any better than this, I tell you.

Okay, so to make up for the monotony of buying battery-operated toothbrushes, we also got me a new bike (electric purple, no less!). Saturday trips to Starbucks are never going to be the same again.