I didn’t wake up at 3am this morning. I suppose that should be a relief. But I’m not so sure I liked the alternative. Frankly, after last night, I think I would have much rather woken up at 3am again.

I know that I dream. It’s a natural thing to do, and there are times when I wake up with just the faint flavor of a dream on my tongue, which then quickly dissipates, because I rarely, if ever, remember my dreams.

Not so last night. I dreamt that some people very close to me were dead. When I woke up it took me quite a while to recover because I was shaking from the intensity of it. It was that real. Even now, if I close my eyes, the images are still much too vivid.

I don’t like dreams like that. I’ve only had them three times in my life, and not once were they ever pleasant. I know there’s such things as portents and premonitions but I don’t even want to contemplate that in connection with this dream. I am just not willing to handle that.

I’m not sure what could have triggered the dream. I went out and had Thai food last night for dinner. Prior to that I consumed large handfuls of peanuts and a few Singapore Slings (well, I drank the nonalcoholic variety, so they were really just fancy glasses of some kind of fruit juice. In neon pink) at a bar where you toss the shells on the floor. Perhaps there was something in one of those. Who knows.

All I know is that if this is the type of dream I am going to remember, perhaps I shouldn’t wish so hard that I could remember my dreams. Maybe more of them are like this. Maybe I’m better off not knowing. I hear other people talk about bizarre dreams they have and wonder sometimes if mine are like that too. But after waking up this morning, I think I think I’d be much happier with the lack of memory than this .