Just a hint of apathy

A few weeks ago, I finally accepted that I just wasn’t being very good at keeping my paper journal anymore. I’ve been rather sporatic about it all the years I’ve had one (since early college, I think), and there’ve been times when months would go by between entries. I’d gotten better in the past few years – mainly because sitting in the airport is a really convenient place to write, and I’ve done an awful lot of that as a consultant.

But lately it’s been getting to me, not having anywhere or any way to do an occasional brain dump. So a few weeks ago, I found a program that allows me to keep a daily journal on my PC, and started in.

It’s amazing how much of a relief it has been to finally have this in place. I may not be able to use it while sitting in airport lounges, but there’s finally an outlet. With everything that’s been going on lately, I’ve needed this far more than I realized.

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It happened again – the ‘congrats to one person for the entire project’s success’ speech. This time it was at the mandatory dinner Tuesday night, during which one of the consulting higher-ups reported that he and his little team of manager croonies were there to find a solution to the project, submit it to the customer, and by virtue of doing this, save the day. The fact that they know next to nothing about the history of the project, as well as the fact that the customer already knows the solution but seems simply unable to come to a decision, appear to mean little to him.

A week ago, I was still raw enough to have been upset by the whole speech. But while I admittedly wasn’t exactly thrilled about what they were saying, the whole thing didn’t faze me so much this time. I’m not sure if I was simply prepared for it, or it if just doesn’t matter as much to me any more. I’ve got bigger issues to deal with these days than whether a few of my fellow Big Fishians do something completely rash. They’ll learn the hard way, same as the rest of us.