The very best part of any performance I have ever been in is the very second when it is done; when the last note has finished and the director lowers his hands and the audience bursts into applause and you know that no matter what might or might not have happened, it is done. You can take a deep breath and relax your shoulders and close your music folder and finally let yourself look out, past the director, into the audience, and smile at your fellow performers and live in just that split second moment with all of them, in that sheer relief that all this work leading up to that moment was actually worth it. Because no matter what might have gone wrong (like, say, the entire second alto section spontaneously forgetting to sing an entire phrase – all three of us – but coming right back in for the next, so that no one beyond the director would ever know), it is over, and damn if we didn’t just blow them all away.

Dress rehearsal on Friday night went quite well – far better than the dress rehearsals for all previous concerts up to this point. It’s the first time that we, as a group, felt like we’d really nailed everything – even the one piece all of us singers felt really fell apart apparently sounded just fine. Amusingly, this was, of course, the first dress rehearsal that was closed door (for previous concerts we’ve let people come in to listen, for a reduced ticket price).

The concert on Saturday night was sold out. Literally sold out, to the point where we had to start late because there were people still coming in, and where they actually had to turn people away at the door. I suspect part of this is due to the fact that our concert was selected as Critic’s Choice for the weekend in the Sacramento Bee, as well as to having new members (and thus new people to hit up for ticket sales) in the group. Nevertheless, it was a little nerve wracking to realize we were going to be singing to a completely packed house. We’ve talked about the eventual possibility of going to two shows for each concert; looks like we may have to address that sooner rather than later.

I nailed my solo Friday night. Wasn’t nervous at all, until I stepped forward Saturday night, during the real thing, and the strings played the opening chords and then it took every ounce of willpower I had in me to rein in the stage fright that suddenly erupted. I nailed it anyway though, as much as I was able, stage fright be damned. Funny how no matter how many times I perform – whether it’s singing in a choir, or playing the oboe in a concert, or slicing through the water in nothing but a bathing suit and too much make-up for a synchronized swimming show – I cannot ever shake the nerves. I guess some things you really never do grow out of.