So it’s been kind of a long week. No, let’s put it this way. By the time Monday was over it had already been a long week; by the time Tuesday was finished it was even longer, and tonight? Well let’s just hope tomorrow just zips by as boring as a day can possibly be, because I really do not need any more of this week.

We’ll start small, with tonight, when I discovered the kitchen sink swarming with ants. I have no idea how long they have been swarming because the kitchen counter is made of the most hideous orange-brown speckled tile, against which I can see nothing. I hate this tile, I really do. It drives me nuts. I need a nice, clean, non-speckled surface so that I can see the dirt (or lack thereof); and more important, so I can see the damn ants when they come in. And they do come in, because this is the Sacramento valley, and thus it is ant country, and nothing short of having regular bug repelling maintenance ever kept the nasty little bugs from coming in at our last house, or at the house I rented before that.

Stepping back a day or two, we move to Tuesday, which is the day I went to the dentist and had the pleasure of having not only two cavities filled (thank you crappy dental genetics), I also had a tooth prepped for a crown. I did not get the crown like I was supposed to, because the machine that is required for this was not playing nicely with the dental folks, so because one dentist visit was not enough fun, I get to go back next week and do it all again. In the meantime I now have a temporary crown, and am not supposed to chew on the left side.

So now we come to the very start of it all – Monday. Since we’re going in reverse chronological order, the next doozy happened Monday evening, which is when the disposal unit spontaneously disconnected from under the sink right as I was trying to dispose of a large quantity of water and the remains of something from the fridge that had started to take on a life of its own, thus spilling nasty stinky gunk everywhere. That was all kinds of fun to clean up.

And finally, we come to the very beginning of the week – Monday morning, which is when our realtor called to tell me he had some news for which I would likely be 90% disappointed and 10% relieved. And that’s when I knew that the obnoxious, high maintenance idiots who’d put the (very low) offer on our house that we accepted only because it’s such a crappy market we didn’t feel like we had much choice, had decided to back out. But wait, it gets better. The reason these idiots gave was that until they read the disclosures they had no idea the house was so near agricultural fields, where there could be the potential of occasional traffic noise, or the use of pesticides. Apparently the cornfield that is RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET from the house was too cryptic a clue. When you have finished laughing hysterically – the reaction I chose for this pronouncement – I will also point out that they have lived in a nearby town for over six months, and have made numerous trips back and forth between the two locations in the meantime, and there is absolutely no way to get from one town to the next without passing ‘agricultural areas’ unless they have somehow developed a means of teleporting that they are just to nasty and mean to share with the rest of us.

So basically this is now the second ‘confirmed’ offer on our house that has fallen through – first the one in May that was contingent on them selling their house (which they didn’t manage to do), and now this one. From the very beginning of this second transaction I have hated the very thought of selling my house to these people, and I wanted so badly to just write a big fat ‘Screw you’ on their joke of an offer, but….we would like to sell this house and I am not supposed to care who it is who actually buys it, so we signed. In retrospect I should have gone with my first instinct (the ‘screw you’ idea) since it would have saved us and our realtor a lot of paperwork and hassle, and made this week maybe a little less long and unbearable. Or as long and unbearable any week that includes a nasty mess in the kitchen, a trip to the dentist, and a confrontation with one of my many insect nemisises (nemisii?), can be.