There is a new sense of urgency in the air at work. There is a buzz of activity, and an undercurrent of excitement. Things up top have shifted, and perhaps finally in our favor. Assessment of current status is to be implemented, and along with this, the technical document review I’ve been begging for for months. Whoever this new regime is, they seem to understand that it is worth spending a bit of time in the beginning to save time later.

And yet I’m having a hard time getting too excited. I’ve had my hopes built up before, only to watch them crash to oblivion as the project careens toward yet another last-ditch effort for salvation.

I want to believe that this will finally mean things are going to improve, I really do. But it’s been over a year now living in chaos mode. It’s a bit hard to see that beautiful vision glimmering on the horizon and not immediately assume it’s yet another mirage.

And speaking of building up hopes, I had a meeting tonight for the Board of Directors on which I serve – the one I was highly reluctant to return to. It was quick, calm, and with one exception, concise. And there is a relatively new board member on board whom I’m liking more and more. She’s upfront and honest – qualities we’ve needed in this little group – and she’s motivated by what would be best for the organization, not what’s best for her. And she’s pointing out things that others haven’t wanted to notice or discuss – but with her naivety of the politics and history, she forces it into the open. I adore this. She is wonderful. And tonight she managed to escalate an issue that we’ve all danced around for years, escalated to the point that we will be finally attempting to do something productive about it.

I am amazed. Once again I’m cautious against outright optimism because I’ve seen this fail too many times, but how can I not let some of that excitement spill over? A chink in the stone wall we’ve all rammed our heads against to no avail, and perhaps this time it will be enough to turn the tide and begin the tedious process of removing that which has hurt this organization too many times already.

Things are hovering, circling warily. The push has been made. Now, in both situations – work and personal – I must impatiently wait to see what shall result.