ME: Ho hum, today will be nice and slow. I can finally catch up on all this work.

COWORKERS: Gee. We have this little Microsoft Access thing we need to have developed.

ME: Hey. I’ll volunteer to do it. No problem. I just need to download the install from the company installation directory. Piece of cake.

COMPUTER: sits there looking grumpy.

ME: ‘Do you want to install?’ Sure I do! **Click** Hmm. Something seems to be wrong…….

COMPUTER: I’m bored.

ME: What? What’s wrong? See? I’ll uninstall. Will that make you happy? I’ll reinstall and make it all better. Honest.

COMPUTER: I’m still bored.

ME: See? I’ll reboot. You’ll work now. So I can do this teensy little Microsoft Access database….hey! Quit freezing up on me! I’m talking to you!

COMPUTER: Oh yeah?

ME: Yeah!

COMPUTER: I *told* you I was bored.

ME: Fine. You’re being rebooted.

COMPUTER: Oh yeah?

ME: yeah. What are you going to do about it?

COMPUTER: Watch.

<…..Missing operating system…..>

ME: Nonononono!!!!

COMPUTER laughs maniacally. Don’t even think about retrieving your files, either. DOS? I don’t do DOS.

*****

Hit return if you want to reformat your hard drive, and lose any and all files you ever had on this system, and watch the blue screen of death come up sporadically, and reboot another 5 or 6 times and completely hose your system and lose absolutely everything and have to reinstall every single piece of software that you need to do any amount of work at all, and don’t think you can do this quickly either because I’m going to make you fight with me ALL DAY if I want to!

*****

ME: Sob!

**Click**