How to get into the house when carrying a 30-pound bag of litter, a purse, a lunch sack, and a bag of stuff from the drug store when you *don’t* have a Sherman in the house:
- Unlock door
- Open door
- Walk inside
- Close door behind you.
- Don’t even think about why this might be a big deal because relax, you don’t have a Sherman in *your* house!
How to get into the house while carrying a 30-pound bag of cat litter, a purse, a lunch sack, and a bag of stuff from the drug store when you *do* have a Sherman in the house:
- Unlock door but do not open yet, no really, don’t do it.
- Set bag of litter on ground, upright, flush against the edge of the door where it will open out.
- Open door only wide enough to wedge in upright bag of litter, thereby frustrating the Sherman, who clearly did not expect this turn of events.
- Shove purse, lunch sack, and bag of stuff from drugstore through the narrow gap in the door, one at a time, whilst simultaneously holding on to the door itself with your free hand to keep it from opening any wider, and also clutching the bag of litter with your prehensile knees to ensure it doesn’t fall over, thus affording the very, very, determined Sherman an avenue of escape.
- Now unencumbered by any other bags, lean carefully through the gap, and scruff the wily grey puffball firmly, while simultaneously nudging the bag of litter forward and opening the door wider at the same time.
- Zip inside the house.
- Close door behind you quickly. QUICKLY.
- Listen to the sad, thwarted Sherman sing the songs of his people, loudly, and at length, to the closed door.
- Rest. You’ve earned it.
Oh look, it’s a snowflake! Who ever would have expected that?
(yeah, sorry, I’ve got nothing)
Making a snowflake a day for Thingadailies.