Still Life, With Cats

We had grand plans for Halloween costumes this year. Every year October rolls around and the neighbors send out their party invite, and Richard and I stare at each other and every single bit of any creativity we might possess just instantly disappears. And so then we show up in something really lame, like the year we wore pirate hats – his had a pumpkin shape stapled to the front and mine had a lime (don’t worry, no one else got it either – sigh). Or the year we were so desperate we actually broke down and bought something from the store but neglected to consider how something meant for younger, thinner people would work on two shorter, older, dumpier types.

So after years of being unable to come up with anything remotely creative, this year we were all set. We had the fabric and the stuffing to make spider legs. I tracked down a pattern and was furiously crocheting a giant spider web (important note – I am very much a beginning crocheter, so this was not a fast process). We were going to go as a spider and a web. It was going to be awesome.

I finished the spider web the morning of the party.

Only problem – neither of us had actually figured out the logistics of how the heck I was going to wear the thing, while still making it obvious it was a spider web. Yeah, not so much with the forethought, apparently.

I then dragged out my sewing machine to make the spider legs. The sewing machine hasn’t been used in about…oh…five years. It took me a little bit to remember how to thread the thing, and then I pressed the pedal, but…not so much with the sewing. It groaned and whined and did a few half-hearted stitches, and then promptly got itself completely tangled with thread. I ripped it out and rethreaded it. There was possibly some cursing when the entire process repeated itself. Twice. But once I finally got it to stop creating giant thread knots, it still wasn’t doing very much. The poor little thing is over 20 years old at this point and probably in need of a really good cleaning and probably a little bit of maintenance as well, but Saturday afternoon, three hours before the party started, I had no time for either (why yes, I *am* a big procrastinator!). So…no spider legs. Part two of our great costume idea, down the drain.

So…we went as zombies. And it wasn’t that bad. You can accomplish a lot with a package of face paint purchased hastily at the drugstore, half an hour before the party. I know this isn’t the greatest picture, but hey, zombies aren’t very good with technology.

Next year, I have a great idea for a costume. The best part – it requires absolutely no sewing. Or crocheting. Now if only I can remember it when October rolls around again, and we’re staring at the party invite, trying desperately to come up with something remotely creative to wear.

It’s time once again for Nablopomo.